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read The Wonderful Wizard of Oz kindle ¶ Paperback ✓ l frank baum

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read The Wonderful Wizard of Oz kindle ¶ Paperback ✓ l. frank baum ´ ➽ [Reading] ➿ The Wonderful Wizard of Oz By L. Frank Baum ➲ – When Dorothy and her little dog Toto are caught in a tornado they and their Kansas farmhouse are suddenly transported When Dorothy and her little Wizard of PDF #9734 dog Toto are caught in a tornado they and their Kansas farmhouse are suddenly transported to Oz where Munchkins live monkeys fly and Wicked Witches rule Desperate to return home Once upon a time there lived a Golden Age gay icon who whiled away her pre waxing years sitting atop a split rail fence in some dour nondescript American Midwest landscape Her dreams of a outrageously fierce existence in the big city wearing roller skates and one foot diameter afro wigs and dancing to Army of Lovers in between lines of blow were hemmed in on all sides by rusted farm euipment NAPA Auto Parts Stores and a lone dejected Applebee’s out on the turnpike Kansas didn’t even have a meth lab yet Or a Sally Beauty Supply Her nascent fabulousness was imprisoned by voluminous swaths of gingham satin ribbons and fussy lace collars none of them unfortunately worn ironically with a lollipop or a pacifier or Harajuku style at the behest of Aunt Em a woman whose character is explained by the shocking fact that the better part of her non church wardrobe was purchased at uality Farm Fleet I know Couldn’t you just dieThis girl as yet scarcely old enough to have a couple of cherries or a leaping dolphin tattooed near her cameltoe was named Dorothy One day like so many dreamy eyed girls she donned her Skechers and her discount department store jeans and waited for a meteorological disaster to rescue her from her sad glitterless rural life As luck would have it one day an especially violent cyclone rated EF4 by the local weather service carved a bloody path of destruction misery and death through central Kansas carrying Dorothy’s trailer with her and her dog Toto inside watching Judge Judy high into the troposphere At first Dorothy mistook the rhythmic vibrations for a circuit party and looked under the bed for her whistle but soon enough she realized she was airborne And it felt Fab U Lous She thought she even spotted a cross country Virgin America flight with Diana Ross sitting in first class refusing a skunky glass of Chardonnay and calling the stewardess an uppity white bitch She’ll have Dershowitz on the phone when she gets to LAX But maybe Dorothy was unconscious and imagining it all At any rate she was immune to the ghastly soul rending shrieks rising from below of a Kansas mother cradling her dead baby who was impaled by a windswept awl in the cyclone She was busy listening to “Yahoo” by Erasure on her iPod Eventually after floating around earth’s gaseous atmosphere for a couple of hours dreaming of Barney’s Co op Sale Dorothy landed in some unknown land flat ironed her hair and repositioned her training thong Outside her trailer a bunch of ghetto midgets were milling around with some old witchy broad No it wasn’t that überfem Glinda – like in the movie – it was some tired ass old mannish thing looking like Linda Hunt in The Year of Living Dangerously Basically this bitch is no help at all She’s supposedly a witch and you’d think she’d know the way to the Meatpacking District but all she does is give her some cheap ass silver shoes Steve Madden – yuck and kiss Dorothy on the forehead leaving this “magical” lipmark Dorothy suspects it’s herpes simplex one and hightails it outta there before the witch gives her boxed wine and has her pose for “art” photographs Yes I remember the very special episode of Diff’rent Strokes with Gordon Jump very well thank you very muchOkay you know the rest of the story for the most part Dorothy seeks out the Wizard of Oz by mapuesting Emerald City or alternately the City of Emeralds and on the way she meets a Scarecrow a Tin Woodman and a Lion who are all needy and want to bask in the glow of her super hot blinding aura and fierce fantabulousness and bum a few amphetamines The Wizard who likes to mix up his corporeal manifestations appears to them in his Emerald City throne room Picture Antwan “Big Boi” Patton’s house on Cribs but with fewer stripper poles and lots green marble in the forms of a giant Little Richard sized head a Sears catalog swimsuit model a vaguely menacing monster and a talking ball of fire Obviously the Wizard has been to see Cirue de Soleil and knows the power of a little uébécois razzle dazzle Whilst filing his nails and reading the latest issue of Interview with Drew Barry on the cover the Wizard tells his motley supplicants that yeah yeah sure he will grant their stupid retarded wishes if they murder the Wicked Witch of the West a Tribeca scenester who is always bogarting Page Six with her leather daddy winged monkey warehouse parties Dorothy Crew reluctantly agree – an act of volition which effectively makes Dorothy the youngest hit girl in the history of YA literature and the only one to ever wear lace trimmed socklets Eventually during a wet t shirt contest the witch melts and Dorothy still flush with her first taste of killing sweet killing returns with her entourage to the Wizard to claim her payoff But then gosh golly gee whiz in a startling atheistic allegory the all powerful Wizard is revealed to be an impotent little Wallace Shawn type standing behind a screen fiddling with some sound board knobs Nietzsche couldn’t’ve said it any better The Wizard who realizes he’s dealing with a bunch of saps here pretends to grant everyone’s wishes except Dorothy’s – cuz he’s totally jealous of her fabulousness and they actually fall for it Dorothy burnt out on the Emerald City scene and suffering from dehydration and exhaustion longs to return to Kansas to start her autobiographical blog A bunch of stupid stuff happens some of which involve a hot air balloon and bitch slapping trees and the uartet make their way to Glinda the Witch of the South to see if she can grant Dorothy’s wish and thereby prove that she’s at least somewhat less worthless than everybody else in OzOn the way to the Glinda’s ‘hood the posse comes across a village where all the people are made of china and break easily Gee I wonder why they left that great episode out of the film and after the Lion accidentally destroys one of their china churches with his tail I’m not kidding giving impetus to hate crime legislation the world over the Tin Woodman decapitates some wolves with his ax Dorothy skips and frolics through the gory pools of matted fur blood and steaming viscera and asks Glinda who appears to be on uaaludes for a trip home Glinda as useless as every other allegedly magical person in Oz tells her that the cheap ass Steve Madden shoes she’s been wearing could’ve gotten her back to Kansas all along And by the way when she returns to the Sticks she should really take off those Chinese panda skin leatherette things They’ll give her fatal foot rashSo Dorothy uses the magic of those shoes made in China under the brand name of a man imprisoned for magical tax evasion to return to Kansas where her Aunt and Uncle have long since forgotten about her and adopted a attractive Latvian girl who’s not too prissy to hand inseminate the cows Dorothy overdoses one night in a dilapidated feed barn on a potent mixture of Robitussin and Gas X and Judy Davis plays her in a television movie that no one remembers long enough to have forgotten

L. Frank Baum º The Wonderful Wizard of Oz reader

And with the Wicked Witch of the West on their trail Dorothy and Toto together with new friends the Tin Woodsman Scarecrow and cowardly Lion embark on a fantastic uest along the The Wonderful PDF or Yellow Brick Road in search My 8 year old decided she wanted to read this one and we just finished buddy reading two different copies The copy she’s reading is a new Scholastic version which is just a simple paperback with an adorable cover I went ahead and picked up this 100th anniversary edition for our home library because it’s illustrated large print and hardcover which I love I’m sure most already know the story The beginning opens with a cyclone that carries Dorothy in her house along with her little dog Toto all the way to a foreign land Her house falls on a wicked witch—killing her—resulting in Dorothy becoming a hero On her journey to find the wizard she meets a scarecrow a tin woodman and a cowardly lionDorothy’s love for her new found friends is heartwarming and there isn’t anything she wouldn’t do for them Together they embark on an adventure to find the Emerald City Each of the four travelers has a reuest for the wizard the scarecrow wants brains the tin woodman a heart and the lion needs courage Dorothy’s only reuest is to be sent back home to Aunt Em in Kansas It’s uite fascinating what can be accomplished if you only believe “No matter how dreary and gray our homes are we people of flesh and blood would rather live there than in any other country be it ever so beautiful There is no place like home” I can’t remember the last time I read The Wonderful Wizard of Oz but it was probably sometime around 5th grade or so We had a tattered up copy in our school library I’m not even sure if I finished it because this time around I was amazed with the differences in the book compared to the Hollywood movie Some events were left out in the film while others were added in which made it even exciting including the entire beginning of the movie Details were also different Not only that parts of the book were fairly dark for young readers He seized his axe which he had made very sharp and as the leader of the wolves came on the Tin Woodman swung his arm and chopped the wolf’s head from its body so that it immediately died As soon as he could raise his axe another wolf came up and he also fell under the sharp edge of the Tim Woodman’s weapon There were forty wolves and forty times a wolf was killed; so that at last they all lay dead in a heap before the Woodman We enjoyed reading about the magical world L Frank Baum has created in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Just picture it with fighting trees flying monkeys munchkins and witches There was no telling what would happen next We connected with all the characters tooI was one of those children who waited for the movie to come on local television channels every single year I was entranced when Dorothy got sucked up into the tornado along with her house and Toto One of the most exciting parts for me was when the movie transitioned from black and white to color I was obsessed with the movie The book may not be as extravagant as the movie and there are many differences but the book is still magical with great characters There are many good lessons for children to learn as wellThis was a very creative children’s fantasy in my opinion The illustrations throughout were a treat and make the story even interesting It’s a book perfect for all ages I’m not sure if we’ll reread it anytime soon but my eight year old and ten year old kids enjoyed it as much as I did I’ve read the second book and plan to finish the entire series eventually4You can see this review with illustrations

reader ´ The Wonderful Wizard of Oz º L. Frank Baum

The Wonderful Wizard of OzOf the Emerald City There they hope to meet the legendary all powerful Wizard of Oz who alone may hold the power to grant their every wishJust as captivating as it was a hundred years ago this is a story that all ages will lo Book 20100 for 2015I really really liked this book I honestly had pretty low expectations going into this book and thought it wouldn't compare at all to the greatness of the 1939 movie which is one of my favorite movies but I was wrong It was one of the best children's classics that I've ever read and I even loved how it wasn't that similar to the movie so it kept me interested I also had a beautiful hardcover Puffin Classics edition so that make the experience even better All in all I'm so glad that I had to read it for my class